Saturday, August 31, 2013

"Is this Putney?" "That it be."

Distance covered last week: 21.17km.

Distance covered this week: 21.43km.

Distance covered yesterday: 11.31km in 1:20:59. Pretty rubbish but usual excuses will follow.

Current temperature: 34C

Today's orange pic: The highlighter pen with which I cross off days on our training plan.



Inspirational running music (don't judge me, running in 40C  + does stuff to your brain): Bon Jovi, Wanted Dead or Alive


We have reached the phase in our training when the distance we are running each week is greater than the distance of the race, which is 21.095km. So, if they could just let us run the race over a period of a week, I am sure we would do an absolutely grand job. But still, it's a milestone of sorts, with seven weeks to go as of yesterday.

This week's running has largely been defined by the fact that I have been in the UK which is absolutely great for running training in the short-term because, trust me, running six miles at 8am starting from Putney is paradise compared to running five miles at 7am in Dubai in August. However, the result of my six-day sojourn in the land of my forefathers means that running back here in the lovely old sandpit seems more torturous than ever.

Case in point, yesterday's run: Having vowed to sort out our laziness about getting up early to beat the heat, we carefully planned a seven-mile route around Downtown Dubai for yesterday morning but when it came to it, although the alarm was set for 5.30am, it went off, and my jetlagged body, which never particularly enjoys the effects of long-haul flying anyway, decided it was in fact UK time, ie, 2.30am, and therefore a profoundly unsuitable time to go running, so back to sleep we went. So t'was in the evening at our old haunt, Safa Park Running Track, that we set off with three and a quarter circuits of the 3.42km track in mind. This is what we did, but it was with horrid heartburn and the need to stop and walk some of it, for me at least, that we completed it.

Compare this to our blissful six mile gambol from my brother's flat in Putney, through parts of Roehampton to Richmond Park, which, for those not familiar with Blighty, benefits from scenes such as this:


There were no deer at the end of the park we were at, but, despite the lack of Bambi and friends, it was considerably more pleasant skipping over the rolling green scenery than toiling around admittedly flat concrete paths in the height of summer in the Vegas of the Middle East.

During the week, I also partook of shorter runs round the town of, not my birth, but my schooling, where my parentals live today, and encountered the delights of Southwell Trail, which was disappointingly free of the flasher who has apparently being hanging around there of recent according to the East Nottinghamshire gossip grapevine. A grave shame for a militant feminist such as myself, who would not at all be opposed to having an object of ridicule to amuse her on her merry way, and possibly, kick in the exposed nuts, but I can appreciate probably a relief for those who are of a more sensitive temperament.


I also ran around my old school, which has been flattened and rebuilt, for some mysterious reason, to resemble a giant, black prefabricated coal shed, presumably to exorcise the ghost of my terminally depressed teenage self who no doubt still walked the corridors picking fights with cool kids, bashing year-sevens with a range of musical instrument cases and perfecting the art of sarcasm to the extent that she herself was unsure what she was actually trying to say.

The getting on for 1,000-year-old Minster, where I spent many happy hours playing in school concerts and pointedly singing as loudly as possible and slightly sharp during school assemblies, is thankfully still there:


Although, they don't seem to have yet got the blue plaque commemorating the time I spent there, which is, frankly, just rude. Despite this disgraceful oversight by English Heritage, the trip home reminded me of why I am doing this half marathon lark because I spent some time with me Ma, who, currently feels like she has been run over by several combine harvesters.

I would hate to be the kind of person who distresses newly diagnosed Myeloma patients, who may come across this blog and think this is exactly what is in store for them, so, I should point out that Myeloma is a very individual disease, no two patients have the same experience of it. But, quite often I find that people have no idea what I'm talking about when I tell them about the disease and the charity for which I am raising money, so it is worth explaining a little bit of what it is like living with it.

My mum is currently undergoing her third cycle of treatment, having previously endured a stem cell transplant and a treatment with a drug called Velcade, which appeared to have been successful for a time, but as Myeloma is a disease that just keeps on coming back as it has no known cure, she is now taking a drug called Revlimid,  and, as well as experiencing horrible pain due to what doctors think is the encroachment of the disease in her spine, for which she may also need radiotherapy, she is trying to adjust to this new drug which has considerable side effects.

Those of you who have met my mum will know she is pretty tough, and, you will know if that there is anyone who can endure this, she can, but that doesn't stop me wishing she didn't have to, or anyone else for that matter.

We were asked recently why we are doing this half marathon in October, meaning we have to train through the summer in one of the hottest climates on earth, rather than wait until another event in December or February.

The short answer to that is this: We had wanted to do the race in March but it was postponed until October.

The long answer is this: I am big enough and ugly enough to know that a cancer that affects a relatively small number of people, compared with say, breast cancer, is not going to be number one priority when it comes to medical research, and that my paltry attempt at fundraising is not going to go particularly far in the scheme of things, but, other than on very dark days when the pain is just too horrible and the drugs are just too noxious, my Mum isn't showing signs of giving up yet, so, the least I can do for her is put up with bit of heat and getting up a bit earlier than usual to raise a few quid, which will hopefully go towards making life a bit less unpleasant for her and other Myeloma patients.

If you haven't already, and, have anything to spare, no matter how small, please sponsor us here.

This film is something I repeatedly post so please excuse it if you have seen it several times, but it explains the disease much better than I can.

Lastly, thanks and socially embarrassed hugs and back pats to all of you who have sponsored us so far. It really does keep us going when we feel like giving up.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Lessons learned

Distance covered today: 8.07km (Him indoors did 7km because he got confused due to heat) in 1hr, 1min and 35secs. Yes, that really is a pathetic time but I had to walk 1700m of it because of, er, adverse conditions. Read on to find out more.


Today's orange picture: orange straws donated for a recent party by our excellent upstairs neighbours.

Distance covered this week: 17km

Run start time: 6.50am

Current temperature 38degrees in the shade, but feels a lot worse due to vile humidity of up to 95 per cent in coastal areas.

Inspirational running tune of the day: You know I'm no good, by Amy Winehouse


This is not exactly a particularly cheery track but it has an insistent beat that helps keep the legs going, and, it reminds me of this track that always reminds me of me Ma, who, this is all about after all:


I think she will probably go ballistic when she sees I have recounted this story, but it made a big impression on me at the time, and, is in a very small way, part of the reason why I exist, so it is worth sharing temporarily even if she tells me to take the story down.

It relates to a time it must have been the early 90s, there was a cover of Baby, you're no good was in the charts and I think I must have been singing it and mum overheard me. At which point, mum recounted a story of her own teenage years when the song was in the charts the first time around, saying she had been singing it a lot then as it had a particularly catchy chorus: "You're no good, you're no good, you're no good, baby you're no good." Unfortunately, her boyfriend of the time took it somewhat personally and decided that, despite her protests, she was, as the modern-day parlance goes, "not that into him" and broke it off with her before she could do the same to him.

This comedic deadpan genius with which my mum said: "I didn't mean anything by it, I just thought it was a catchy song", is difficult to get across on the page, but trust me, it was pretty funny. Who knows, if she had stayed with this somewhat over-sensitive chap she might never have married my father, and my sister and brother and I would not exist, and then where would the world be?

Anyway, back to the running. This morning, we headed to the Jumeirah Open Beach running track which looks a little bit, well, a lot like this:


It's 1.5km long, so we ran the length of it four times, then tacked an extra 2km on top of that, well, I did, him indoors got confused because of the absolutely revolting heat and humidity. I am laughing as I write this, now, because, for some reason, we thought there would be a "pleasant breeze" because of the proximity to the sea. Oh, how wrong we were.

The "lessons learned" I'm referring to on the title of this post are as follows:

1. We REALLY have to get up early than 6.15am if we are going to avoid the worst of the heat on these longer runs.
2. Running with no shade whatsoever in the current weather conditions is a terrible, terrible idea.
3. Pleasant breeze by the sea? Ha and a thousand times, ha! In one direction, yes, in the other, crippling humidity and baking sun with no trees or buildings to shade under, more like.
4. It grieves me to say this, considering the line of work of him indoors, but I may have to desist from tipping my usual bucket of New Zealand Sauv Blanc down my neck of a Thursday night if our Friday morning runs are going to get any less painful.
5. While I have previously claimed that I can listen to any music when I run, in actual fact, in these conditions, the wrong kind of music can be the last psychological step you need to make you slow down to a stop.
Case in point today: This track got me going again today after having to slow to a walk thinking I was going to faint:

Job done, one of the all time brilliant inspiration running songs, along with the theme from Chariots of Fire. Perfect. Unfortunately, this came on next:

It's a great piece, which I love to play as much as I love to listen to it. Unfortunately, it is 10 minutes of slow, melancholy, soul-searching misery, and, it's safe to say that it's not conducive to keeping on running. So, along with properly early starts from now on (And I mean it this time. No, really I do) an upbeat running playlist for the iPod is another must.

So, we survived the run, just, and then, hooray, we were at the beach, so off we went for a swim and a muscle loosen in the tepid waters of the Arabian Sea. Unfortunately, a jellyfish had other ideas and stung me as I was performing a leg stretch in chest deep water. Off to the lifeguard we went. Thankfully, he didn't offer to wee on me, as I understand that the usefulness of urine on jellyfish stings is an urban myth perpetuated by Monica and Chandler in Friends, rather, he went to get a spray bottle of vinegar from the beach office and treated it that way. It ruddy well hurt at the time, but the vinegar seemed to do the trick, and in order to salvage a somewhat stressful outing, we went here for breakfast:


A, ahem, mature-looking biker did indeed turn up while we were there, but it's not just bikers that go there. Him indoors had a pepperoni omelette, which was really a mess of eggs, sausage and green pepper in a scalding hot iron pot, but it was tasty enough, and I had eggs benedict.

Today's run was not entirely a failure as I am choosing to treat it as a learning experience. And, when I turned to social media for solace, I discovered that Dubai Creek Striders who are really quite serious runners, had described today's conditions as Humidity 1, Dubai Striders 0, so I felt slightly less bad about having to give up and walk on a run that is a long way less than half of what we have to do on 18th October.

Most of you know why we have apparently lost our minds and decided to train for a half marathon in one of the hottest places on earth during the hottest part of the year, but in case you don't, click here. Any donations would be most gratefully received. 

Friday, August 9, 2013

Operatic running

Start time: 6.36am

Temperature at finish: 36.5C

Current temperature 42.5C



Distance covered: 6.47km in 43mins46 seconds. Not VG, but give me a break, it's flippin' hot and I'm feeling a bit unnecessary.

Distance covered this week: 14.53km

Today's inspirational running music: Tre Sbirri, Una Carrozza.. from Puccini's Tosca

You might be slightly bemused by today's orange picture. No, I haven't gone all corporate, well, only to the tiniest of degrees. This is a close up of the box my new trainers came in. I am buying more Nike products than I might once have done for two reasons:

1. The sportswear giant runs a free running club in Dubai and which involves not just running circuits for hours on end but a bit of strength and agility training and it is safe to say that without it, my running would not have improved nearly as much in the past couple of years. and

2. It seems to be the only brand currently in Dubai that has facilities (at Dubai Festival City) to test your gait to make sure you are wearing the right shoes. This is invaluable to someone like me who has suffered with bad knees in the past. I run a bit like Charlie Chaplin with my feet turned out, partly due to 10 years or so of studying ballet, partly because I am just a little bit strange. My dad always says I run like I have my knees tied together, which is, after all, what fathers are for, but, it's safe to say that having good shoes to run in so I don't put strain on my knees is pretty important. So far so good, no dreaded, sickening, squeaky internal pop of tendons or ligaments doing what they are not meant to. You will know exactly what I am talking about if you have ever had problem with your knees because it is a feeling that stays with you for quite some time.

We are a day late doing our long run of the week because we had a party on Thursday night which left us feeling all a bit unnecessary for the larger part of yesterday. Still, back on track now. The slight unnecessaryness that segued somewhat unpleasantly into early this morning is probably the reason for today's inspirational running music, a somewhat dirge-like excerpt from Tosca. At this point in the opera, the scheming Baron Scarpia orders men to follow Tosca, because he thinks she is about to lead them to her lover Cavaradossi, who he suspects of having rebel Republican sympathies. He then sings his plan to have Cavaradossi executed and have Tosca for himself. All the while, the chapel choir sings the Te Deum, reminding him of the conflict between his passion for Tosca and his faith in God.

It is not exactly uplifting stuff but I find the swelling music and the repeated alternating notes in the lower register instruments are actually quite conducive to distracting you from the heat and the sweat running into your eyes. Dramatic crescendos don't half help you get up the (admittedly piddling) hills around Downtown Dubai as well.

In the mean-time, it is useful to keep reminding myself why the heck I am doing this. It is only recently that I started following developments in the treatment of Myeloma and it does seem that, as relatively rare as the disease may be, there are fairly regular developments in the drugs used to treat it, as you can see from this link here.

I have also embedded a short film (ahem, have only just realised how to do that) on Myeloma and why it is important to raise awareness and funds.


And click here for our fundraising page. It has gone somewhat quiet on the donation front recently but Dubai folks, watch this space for an amusing evening of fundraising frivolity coming your way soon.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Sand Witch Safari

This summer, we managed to do what we failed to do in the past two previous summers, and got the heck out of here for a substantial part of Ramadan. You may have therefore noticed a significant reduction in this year's quantity of social media whinging about the summer heat in Dubai combined with the fasting-related restrictions that mean that you can't be seen eating or drinking in public during the day.

I can't recommend escaping highly enough for any of you Dubai stalwarts that haven't done the same. The weather has been a bit crazy since we got back, including almost unheard of rain, plus what appears to have been a miniature Shamal, and, despite the impending sense of doom I felt when I got on the plane at Heathrow, having been away means the heat it doesn't seem all that bad.

Part of the trip, apart from seeing our nearest and dearest in the UK, involved a trip to Kenya**** 

I have added a few of my favourite photographs, but, of course, I took hundreds and hundreds, so for a slide show that still doesn't come close to showing them all, click here, If you are at work, be aware I have selected an excellently appropriate soundtrack which you will need to turn off.


After a lot of fiddling around (were we going to convince someone to send us for free in exchange for me writing about it? A resounding "no", it turned out, being a self-facilitating media node is not all glamour, you know) we set off for Nairobi last month with Rhino Watch Safari Lodge, which was excellent, if you're thinking of a similar trip, and spent a week touring Aberdare National Park, Ol Pejata Conservancy (also known as Sweetwater) Solio, and walking amongst giraffes at Aberdare Country Club. 

For the sake of a bit of history, there was also a walking trip to the Mau-Mau Cave, where 100 Kenyan freedom fighters were bombed and killed by British forces in 1959. The guide, Jacob, told us that his grandfather had been among them and at the time of the attack, a meeting was taking place. The smoke that rose from their fire (it can get freezing cold in the Mt Kenya region in winter) gave their presence away. So, effectively, we were standing on the bones of his grandfather. 


Kenya celebrates 50 years of independence on 12th December 1963 and the country, from the point of view of someone who has spent a week happily being driven around in four-wheel-drives looking at animals, feels fairly self-confident. That is not to say there are not serious challenges facing it. The safari guide Ben told us that spiralling food prices, $1 a day for a bag of maize, combined with low wages mean millions spend their lives in debt just to survive. 


One day, I looked out of the window of the gigantic four-wheel drive and spotted a bunch of teenage boys sitting by the road, shouting at us for food or money. "Why aren't they at school?" I asked, expecting a reply that it had finished for the day, or they were too old for school. Nope. A government school teacher's strike meant that the schools had been closed for three weeks. The private schools remained open, apparently, but government school teachers want reform, because at present they are being paid between 7,000 and 10,000 Kenyan shillings (between 52 and 74pounds) per month. I suppose this is why one travels, isn't it? To see the world, and broaden one's horizons, and realise that one doesn't really know one's born and should really whinge a bit less about one's own lot.   


Far and away the highlight of the holiday for me was seeing the lion in Ol Pejata, who, you can see from the slideshow, caught and started to eat a baby warthog right in front of us. We saw her on our second day as lions in Ol Pejata are a lot easier to find because of the tracking collars worn in attempt to combat the serious problems that the park, and others in the area, have with poachers. The collar has an added bonus for tourism in that it means that rangers can tip guides off about the creature's approximate whereabouts within the reserve, meaning far more go away happy having had this rare sighting. Being on the hunt, as it were, for a lion sighting, is a curious experience. We spent four days in total touring the reserves and the lion sighting took up about 10 minutes of that, so you spend a lot of time driving around not seeing a lion. Luckily, him indoors and I are patient types, and are interested in all manner of other animals, including the incredibly rare black rhino, the ever amusing giraffes, the plant and bird life, but I can imagine it must be extremely hard work for guides who have customers who are more demanding than us, and feel cheated if they haven't seen the "big five" by the time they set off home.


Ours was excellent and endlessly patient in his efforts, and, not jaded to the extent that he too was genuinely impressed by the wildlife, including what I thought was a dispute between elephants, but he explained was "playing". If you take a look at this really quite adorable video shot by him indoors, and observe, the, ahem, under carriage of one of the elephants, you can see that he was enjoying it quite a lot.

At certain points on the trip, particularly during the lion hunts, I did wonder if I am any better than the "white hunters" the people who for some reason best known to themselves, like to travel to Africa, thankfully not Kenya so much these days, but nearby countries, and shoot the hell out of the beautiful and increasingly rare creatures that live there. When the hunt is on to see a lion, I think it does feel a little like you are actually hunting it, except you are armed with an SLR and a long lens instead of a gun.

The tension, I imagine, is similar, along with the sense of anticipation, and of course, the hint of danger. Because even though you are in a substantial vehicle which even the biggest and heaviest of lions would have difficulty getting into, it is still there, not least because I had a peculiar urge to get out of the vehicle when we were metres from the lion, which is similar, I imagine, to the urge vertigo sufferers have to jump off tall buildings. Luckily, him indoors stopped me. 
****Apparently as I write this there is a large fire at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport in Nairobi whicih may or may not make nonsense of my later comments about Kenya's self-confidence.

Friday, August 2, 2013

One down, eleven to go

Distance covered today: 4.83km, distance covered this week: 12.09km.

Start time: 6.20am.

Current temperature (forgot to check this morning, too early): 40C



Today's inspirational running song: Wandering Star, by Lee Marvin

As you can probably tell from today's orange picture, I'm running low on orange things to photograph, so I'm making do with a spray bottle of Mr Muscle. Any donations or suggestions for the orange cause gratefully received. For the uninitiated, I am photographing orange things to highlight Myeloma UK because him indoors and I are running a half marathon in aid of the charity on October 18th. In the mean-time, here's a retro Mr Muscle advert as the bloke in it is of similar levels of athletic prowess to myself.

This week was the first week of our 12-week training plan, so the half marathon is 11 weeks away today. I have done extensive research on training for a half marathon (I went to Google and typed in "half marathon training programme") and discovered the best way to do it is start with shorter distances and gradually build them up. So far, so easy. Until, that is, we start having to run more than 10km, which is the furthest we have ever run. That point comes exactly four weeks from today. I expect you will be able to hear the anguished cries from back in the UK.

In the mean-time, here is the link if you would be so kind as to sponsor us for our run. Just think about it for a second. We, that is us, a reformed exercisephobe and someone who travels everywhere with an emergency bottle of booze, are doing a half marathon. If that doesn't deserve sponsorship, I don't know what does.